Captive
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: What if in the Benders. Sam was raped and beaten severly by the family that captured him? Dean doesn't go to the police and searches for Sam on his own. When he finds Sam Sam is mentally unstable and hardly recoginzes Dean. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! UPDATED!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, I HAVE updated some of my older fics, so there. I still need to update some more but I remember how much I love reading mentally unstable Sam, is that wrong of me? And realized I hardly have any fics like that so here I go :) Of course it's not going to start out like that, it'll take time to get to mentall retarded Sam. :)

* * *

****Prologue

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**Sam groaned as he woke in a cage. Dazed like he looked around. Where the hell was he? His head was swimming but he stiffened when he heard doors opening. Quickly he backed up as far as he could as he saw figures walking towards him. What the hell? They looked human! But they couldn't be human...could they? The cage door opened and one of the humans came in, his lips curled in a twisted smile.

"Welcome to your new life," he said calmly. "I'm sorry you don't have company, that'll change in time."

"What do you want?" Sam said, his voice shaking as he saw another human enter. Both of them sniggered.

"We've already gotten what we want," the other sneered. "_You. _You're gonna be a fun one to play with and to break, that's for sure. " Sam sat up when they came forward to him and quickly he raised his arms in self defense and used his fists to fight both of them. But they were too strong, and he had been out of pratice. They grabbed him and roughly turned him around. As one started to beat him the other, to his horror, started to rape him. He closed his eyes as he continued to fight, desperatly praying that Dean would find him before it's too late.

* * *

Panic filled Dean as he realized that he couldn't find Sam. He thought of going to the nearest police station for help.

_No _something told him. _Stay away from the law_. All hunters hated lawmen on instinct. They wouldn't know what took him. They wouldn't be looking for a monster or a demon. They'd be looking for a human.

He scanned the road and his eyes widened at tire tries that were headed in the middle of no where. Instinct told him to follow them. Even though he wasn't much of a praying man, he prayed that he was making the right decision by not going to the police. If he wasn't, he had a sinking feeling Sam would pay for that mistake, with his life. Dean decided he had to have help. He couldn't do this alone. Quickly he called their father's number and left a voice message.

* * *

When they had finished beating and raping him they left him stripped of his clothing as they locked him in the cage.

Sam groaned and flinched at the wounds was now starting to hurt.

"Please Dean," he whispered as he shivered, never feeling more alone. "Please...hurry."

**Despite it being short and my thousand other stories, anyone still interested? **


	2. Chapter 2

**The last chapter was way too short, I wanted to see if anyone was interested in it which is why I posted it so short. But I feel you all deserve a more detailed chapter :)

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****Chapter 1

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**

Sam laid motionless for a few minutes, too shaken to really move or think clearly. He still couldn't believe it was humans they were dealing with. He looked around him, pitch black and in solitary confiment basically. He shivered from the cold and from the fear. He hated closed spaces. Ever sense he was little. That fear was reemerging. So dark...no room to run...traped. He sat up and pushed his legs to his chest and held them, as if wanting support of some kind.

_Such a small space. So cold...so dark...so alone. No Dean._

He began to rock back and forth, a whimper escaping his throat. Did the cage half to be so small?! They felt like they were closing in on him, not allowing him to breathe. He shuddered as he remembered being trapped in a closet for hours at a time. He hated closed spaces with a passion.

He whimpered again as the doors opened. _Please...just stop...let him breathe a bit._

They sniggered when they saw him.

"He's breakin' a lot quicker than the others," one of them muttered. "This might be too easy."

"Should we wait before we break him some more?" The other suggested.

"No," the first one said quickly. "This is the perfect time to do it. It'll make it a lot quicker." Sam eyed the belt that was in the man's hand. His rocking increased.

He thought of begging but that disgusted him. He wasn't _that _broken yet. The first lash stung. He gasped despite himself, half in pain and half in shock. He had never had a belt on him his whole life. John never believed in child abuse any shape or form , not evne while he was training the boys, and the monsters had other methods of attack. But still a belt was such a small item. It amazed Sam the ammount of pain it caused.

The lashings got quicker and more fierce. Pink strips appeared on his belly and chest, as well as his naked arms. He tried covering himself but he could never escape the piece of metal and leather hitting his soft skin. He always did bruise easily. Dean had always teased him about it, saying all he had to do was look at him and Sam would bruise.

_Dean_. Thankfully Sam remembered his brother. How could he have forgotten him, even if it was just for a few minutes? _Dean, Dean Dean_. He would_ not_ forget his brother. No matter what happens, he was certain of that.

_Dean...Dean..._

The thoughts of pain was interferring with him thinking of his brother. Each time the lash strunk upon another welt the pain inturrupted his train of thought. But he refused to cave.

How long could this lashing last?

As if reading his mind the one without the strap stopped the one who was beating him.

"We don't want to damage him too quickly," he warned. The beater sighed, almost dissapointed, and nodded.

"You're right." He fingered Sam's face. Sam shuddered at the touch, at how cold the finger felt against his skin. The finger started to run down Sam's face quietly.

"We have all the time in the world for that," the voice of the beater than sniggered. Sam stiffened at that and watched as they left him alone.

_Don't close the door, please don't _he silently begged. _Don't leave me in here. All alone...in the dark. _

But of course they ignored his silent pleas as they locked the cage door tightly. He moaned with the lights flickered off. A sob escaped his throat as he shivered and resumed rocking back and forth, waiting for the night to pass. Waiting for all this to end, for Dean to save him like he always does.

* * *

Dean pulled over sharply when he heard his phone ring. Eagerly, trying not to hope too much, he opened the phone.

"Hello?" A part of him had hoped it would be Sammy, but he highly doubted it.

"Dean?" Dean froze as he heard his father's voice.

"Dad?"

"You said that Sammy was missing?" John's voice was filled with worry and he had offered no explination to where he had been. Dean knew better than to push it.

"Yeah, I've been following the tracks of the vehical I think Sam might be in. Somebody or somethin' took him."

"What happened?"

"We were at a bar and he went to the car and I went to the restroom and five minutes later when I went to the car he was gone."

"You left him out of your sight?" John's voice was sharp.

"Dad, it was barely under five minutes and-"

"It's _your _responsiblity to look after your brother Dean!"

Dean swallowed, hating to hear his father being angry at him, not that he didn't deserve it. His father was right, like always.

"I know Dad...I'm sorry, I've been trying-"

"Apparently not hard enough."

Silence resumed. It was one of the few times that Dean actually felt like crying.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, not knowing what else to say. John sighed.

"I know you are," his voice was softer now. "I want you to meet me at the motel. You haven't called the cops yet, have you?"

Dean shook his head, trying to regroup himself.

"No."

"Good. That's good. They'll be more trouble than help. Here's the address." John gave it to him and Dean quickly jotted it down, surprised that it wasn't to far from their motel. He desperatly wanted to ask why John was so close to the boys but didn't contact him, but he didn't want to get his father upset with him again.

"And don't worry Dean. We'll find him."

"Yeah, thanks Dad." Dean swallowed as he hung up. _If only he could have been as sure as John was._

Quickly he started the car and headed towards his father's room, determined to make things right again....


	3. Chapter 3

****

You guys are lucky that I'm doing three updates in one day :) This is only because today's a snow day lol. This chapter will be rated K+ for the rape scene.

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**Chapter 2

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**

Sam shivered as a cold breeze brushed against his all too delicate and naked skin. He curled into a fetas position in desperate attempts to get warm. Memories drifted in him. Memories of being stuck in the closet. He had wanted to be brave and find the monster in the closet himself. But than somehow the closet door had swung shut, unable to ope. It was hours later before Dean found Sam, who by than was in the corner shaking and sobbing-certain that the monster was going to kill him.

Sam shuddered at the memory of that terror. Ever sense than he had hated anything that reminded him of a closet, like this cage. Finally he heard the spring birds greet the morning. Such a small sound but it was soothing to him. The door opened again. He stiffened. Someone else, a different person than the two that he was used to seeing came in. This person looked older. Not saying anything the person opened the cage door. Sam wimpered and scooted back to the corner.

"Relax," the person growled. "I ain't gonna hurt ya....right now." He tossed a plate of food towards Sam. Some rather dry bread and some water. As well as some cheese with mold on it. "Enjoy your breakfast," the person sneered before leaving.

Sam stared at the food in disgust but his stomach couldn't make him ignore it. He scarfed it down, drinking the water to get rid of how dry the bread tasted. He ate around the mold of the cheese. Finally he was finished, a bit of warmth was inside of him.

Time passed, he wasn't sure how long he was in there until the doors opened again. It was only one of them this time. The one who had beaten him the night before.

"My brother wanted to sleep in some," the captor told him with a twisted smile. "But I just couldn't wait. Ready for round two?"

This time Sam was too exhausted to fight, he did so because the thought of turning over for this bastard on his own free will disgusted him. It would disgust Dean. Dean would be so dissapointed in him if he didn't put up a fight. _But it was so exhausting._

He struggled until it was almost impossible to struggle. His captor was on top of him and Sam bucked when he felt the man's penis inside of him.

_No..No, this wasn't happening to him. No, not again! _He hid his sob as the man continued to take what he wanted, ignoring Sam's moans. He felt the belt lash against him and that was when a cry broke out of him. The beating and raping continued for what seemed like forever, until finally the his captor came inside of him and relaxed before pulling out.

"Thank you pretty boy" he whispered softly into Sam's ear."I so did need that." He smiled at Sam's tears. "Pretty boy," he repeated thoughtfully with a snicker. "That's a good nickname for you...Pretty Boy." Sam shuddered at the patronizing voice this asshole was using and collapsed on the floor and broke into fresh sobs as he found himself locked in the cage once more, all by himself in the dark and without his brother to save him...

* * *

Dean knocked on the motel door anxiously and nervously. John opened it quickly. Dean stiffened, expecting his father to yell at him but much to his surprise John embraced him in a hug.

"Dean." His voice was filled with relief.

"Dad." Dean was trying to stop the tremor from being obvious to everyone.

"Look son," John began rather stiffly. "I realize I reacted harshly back there."

"It's okay dad," Dean said briskly. "Really..."

"No," John said quickly. "It's not. It's not right for me to blame you for Sammy's dissapearence. I just wanted to blame somebody, and I took out my anger on you, and for that I'm sorry."

Dean frowned. Since when did John apologize like this? What was going on to have him act all sentimental?

"It's okay dad, I'm not mad," he said quickly. John sighed and looked like he wanted to say more, but didn't.

"Do you have an idea wherre the car was headed?" He asked.

"Just down the road that I was on," Dean said helplessly with a shrug. "I have no idea how far they'll go, though."

John nodded briskly and stood up from the corner of the bed that he had sat down.

"I suggest we get back on the road than," he said quickly and Dean nodded, releaved to be searching for Sammy again. Both walked out the door without saying word.

* * *

Sam had cried himself to sleep and now was having feverish dreams. The monster in his closet was back and out for vengeance. It wanted to choke Sam, to slaughter him. He woke up screaming, forgetting where he was at the moment. When he remembered he shuddered and fresh tears spilled from his eyes. It amazed even him how much he had changed within these 12 hours, or however long he was in there. A part of him felt sick that he was able to be changed so quickly...to become so afraid and traumaized...but these animals that held him captive were so crude to him... so _inhuman. _It was impossible not to change. Still he hated being a coward. But that didn't stop him from shuddering when the door opened and the brother that was sleeping in stepped into the room. He closed his eyes, desperatly praying that this would all end. That this nightmare would soon be over...

**I made John apologize in this chapter so everyone wouldn't hate him lol. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews! I decided to change this story to T though, just because of the subject matter I'm dealing with.

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**

Dean drove up the road and pointed to the tire marks that he had seen earlier. John odded sieltnly and Dean started to follow it, but it wasn't long because the tire marks dissapeared. Dean cursed as he pulled over.

"Great, now what?" He said, trying to control the tremor in his voice. John picked up his cell suddenly.

"What are you doing?" Dean stared at him curiously.

"Can't believe we didn't think of this sooner," John said with a grim tone and looked at Dean. "The gps on his cell phone." Dean groaned at the obvious solution.

"Of course," he muttered, but his eyes widened as John handed him the phone. "What....?"

"You know him better than I do. I think you'd know his passward more than I would," John told him in a factual tone. Dean looked at him before nodding and quickly he called the operator to get the cordinates as John fished out Sam's laptop from the backseat. Dean quickly gave the location he was given and John typed it in as fast as he could. He studied the map.

"All right, he's about 40 miles from here," he said.

"Or his cell phone is," Dean couldn't help but mutter. John looked at him.

"I know he might not be there, Dean, but this is the only way we can look for him," he said quietly and Dean slowly nodded his response as he stepped on the gas pedal.

"Don't worry, Sammy," he muttered under his breath. "We're coming. Just hang on a little while longer."

* * *

Another beating had already happened to Sam by now. By than he was completly covered in welts and bruises. He had been raped repeatedly by those fowl animals for so many times that he had lost track of how many times they had used him. So far the older person seemed to have no interest in hurting him, though. He was the one who fed Sam and would talk to him once in a while.

"You're a gift, Pretty Boy," he had said in a whisper. "A gift for my boys. You better behave yourself. They've been enjoying you immensly and I intend to keep it that way."

Pretty Boy. That's what they've called him from than on. The name was degrading to him and he had forced himself to repeat his real name over and over. Sam. He was Sam, not Pretty Boy. And his brother's name was _Dean. _He couldn't forget that. He knew he hadn't been in here very long but already his past life was becoming a bit hazy to him. He had lost track of actual thoughts. His only thought was on survival.

The shaking didn't stop when they locked him in the cage after they had finished using him. He seemed perminantly curled into a fetus position. He closed his eyes and his body shook throughout the night, trying to get the nightmare to end.

It didn't, though. The door opened again and he groaned as he thought of the rape that was about to occur. _It's just sex _he wanted to tell himself. _It's just sex._

But that still didn't make the pain go away. He heard whispers. It sounded like there was more than just two people there. He closed his eyes as the lights flickered on.

"Pretty Boy we bought some friends with us," one of them snickered. "They're very eager to try you."

Sam moaned softly as he heard more crude snickers. The room filled with an uncomfortable aroma. It was obvious that these men, if you could call them men, didn't take care of themselves properly.

A whimper was let out as he saw the group heading towards him. There were 6 and they all looked so large...so dangerous. Before he could protest one of them instantly placed their penis inside of him. He bucked, clearly startled, but as he was trying to collect himself another forced a penis inside of his mouth. He was speared at both ends it seemed like, completly defenless. He groaned from the pain, still not used to the idea of a man being inside of him.

No real thoughts was inside of him now, he felt completly insignifigant. He wasn't able to concentrate on anything but what was happening to him right now. His thoughts was becoming hazy. He lost track of how many used him. He knew there was 8 there, but so many used him repeatedly during those next few hours he was sure that more had snuck up on him.

He was exhuasted by the time they had finished beating, and raping, him. More welts were covering the ones that was already on his skin. The closed doors just made things worse as he finally broke into fresh sobs. He remembered them calling him Pretty Boy over and over, patting his buttocks like he was some sort of animal. He shuddered and squinted, trying hard to remember his real name. It wasn't Pretty Boy was it? And wasn't anybody looking for him? Did he have anybody? He was too exhausted to think about real thoughts right now. Even though it had only been a few days any real thoughts was slowly deflating from him. All he could think about himself as the thing that they liked to play with. He was good for sex and for nothing else. That was the only thing that was keeping him alive. The only reason why he was still there.

* * *

Finally, after hours of driving Dean pulled up to a rather torn down farm house. They looked at it silently and it disgusted him, the idea of Sammy being there. Without thinking John reached for the rifles in the backseat. Quickly Dean did the same and they stepped out. Slowly they crept to the front and looked inside the screendoor. It looked empty. Slowly they started to go inside, not seeing the people creeping up on him.

Before they knew what was happening both of them were hit over the head with guns and fell to the floor.

* * *

When Dean woke he found himself in a cage. Blinking he looked around for his father, but couldn't see him. He stared in horror at the naked body covered in bruises and welts that was curled into a fetas position, shaking like mad.

"Sammy..." Even though he couldn't see his face he knew it was his brother. "Sam!" He started to sit up, fear and anger rolling in as one. What did these bastards, whoever they are, do to his baby brother? "Sam!" He shouted, fear this time. Fear that Sam was dead. Sam shifted though, in response and opened his eyes as he lifted his head. He stared dumbly at Dean. "Sammy, it's me Dean," Dean said, his voice filled with excitment now. "Sammy it's me...your brother. Sam?" But as he kept on repeating his brother's name he got a sick feeling at the pit of his stomach when he stared at the dull blank look in his brother's eyes that greeted him...

_What the hell happened to his brother?!_

**TBC, only if you guys want me too of course :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews! I wanted the last one to be darker to show Sam breaking, if that makes senes.

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Dean stared at his little brother's dull blank eyes in horror.

"Sammy...." The person in front of him w_asn't _Sam, though. Not the Sam he knew. He reached over to touch his brother. Sam let out a low whimpering plea and jerked his body away. Tears fell in Dean's eyes. What did these sick bastards, whoever or _whatever _they are do to his brother? Anger swept over him as those thoughts raced through his mind.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Sammy, it's me. It's your brother, _Dean_. Don't you recoginze me?"

Sam stared at him, almost dumbly. Dean's whole body could hardly control it's shaking.

"What did they do to you, Sammy?" He whispered, tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry...I've been searching for you non stop...if only I've gotten here sooner." He closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry Sammy." He reached out to touch his brother who had pushed his knees to his chest and was rocking back and forth. Sam stiffened at the touch, but relaxed at the soothing tone of his brother.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," Dean couldn't help repeat, "So sorry." He took off his jacket and placed it on Sam's bruised back and shoulders. Sam whimpered but than stopped when he realized what Dean was doing to him. Dean nodded.

"That's better," he murmured, hating the idea of his brother being stripped naked like he was. "That's better." He reached out and Sam allowed him to embrace his baby brother into a hug.

* * *

When John woke he found himself tied to a chair, three men looming over him.

"You a cop?" The oldest didn't waste time with any questions. John glared at him.

"Were are my boys?" He demanded harshly.

"You a _cop_?" The leader insisted and pressed a knife at John's face.

"No," John grunted.

"What about these badges than?" One of the other men nodded to John's fake badges and John slightly groaned.

"Fake," John muttered and the oldest cracked a smile. John could tell taking care of his teeth wasn't important to him, seeing how most of them were missing.

"You a criminal than?"

John sighed.

"Guess you could say that," he muttered. "I came here with my oldest son looking for my other boy."

The others looked at each other gleefully and the leader of the group laughed.

"Pretty Boy's your son?!" He cracked another hideous grin and John flinched at the degrading name. "Well aren't you in for a treat." He turned to his own sons. "Bring him out boys, Pops here wishes to see his son." The sons snickered as they left to obey.

When they opened the door Sam started to sob ont Dean's shoulders.

"Whoa, easy there," Dean said soothingly. "Easy there Sammy."

The cage door opened and Sam's sobs of anticipation grew louder. Dean's grip on him tightened as he stared at the bastards, they were suprisingly just people, come inside.

"You're not getting your hands on him you sonofabitch," he growled dangerously and both looked at each other and laughed before one grabbed Dean roughly and shoved him against the bars as the other dragged a sobbing Sam out of the cage. Dean struggled against the grip of the well muscled man that held him. Despite his fight, the jacket was ripped off of Sam and Dean's brother was dragged away from him.

* * *

John struggled against the ropes that bound him but froze when his youngest was tossed in front of him like a sack of flower. He swallowed as he watched Sam curl into a fetus position.

"Sam." Fury flashed in his voice. "What the hell did you do to him you fucking bastards?!" His voice was at a roar now. The leader smiled.

"Nothing that you're not going to see right now."

Confusion and fear swept John's face.

Than the two other men roughly grabbed the traumatized Sam and threw him onto the table where they proceeded to rape him in front of his father. John was livid now. So livid he could barely breathe, or think. And he felt sick to his stomach as bile rose. He struggled even harder against the ropes, remembering the knife in his backpocket. He worked at it feverishly as he closed his eyes, hearing his son moan and sob in humiliation and pain. _I'm almost out of here, Sammy, _he thought to himself. _I'm so sorry._

He refused to let the tears show. Refused to let these bastards see anything. Finally the ropes were off of him. In a flying rage he jumped off the chair, shocking the three captors. With a larger knife that was in the room he at first lunged at the oldest, the one who clearly was the father of the other men. The father went to grab the nearest rifle, but it was too late. John plunged the knife into his chest without hestitation, darkness and fury in his eyes as he twisted the handle. Blood poured from the man's chest as he shuddered while collapsing. The other two had turned shock, but before they were truly able to react John grabbed the rifle that the dead man was about to grab and shot them both. He winced as he heard Sam shouting and sobbing in fear as the bodies collapsed and blood splattered onto his son's naked body. He went over to the bodies and stared at them darkly. Almost unable to help himself he reached down and stabbed them both with a knife, even though they were already dead.

"That was for Sam, you sick sonsofabitchs," he hissered darkly. He glanced at his youngest, finally allowing tears to roll down his cheeks. "Sam." He reached out to touch his son but Sam jerked away and started to sob. John felt like sobbing himself. _He had just seen his son raped_! That image was perminantly etched in his brain, forever. He heard Dean shouting in the next room.

"What the hell is going on there?" Dean was bellowing. He was also bellowing about them hurting Sam but Johnw as too busy trying to collect himself to really pay attention to what Dean was saying.

He hurried into the other room and stared at the cages in front of him after he opened the door. He stared at Dean who was yelling at the bars, his face dark and dangerous. But the yelling stopped as soon as Dean saw who John was. John quickly grabbed the keys that was hanging at the door and unlocked the cage.

"Dad," Dean breathed. "You got out."

"Yeah," John said grimly as he opened the door.

"How..."

"Remembered my pocketknife and broke out of those damned ropes as they were..." He could barely finish the sentence "Raping him..."

Dean closed his eyes and worldessly got out of the cage. He grabbed his jacket before they hurried out of the room. He stared in utter disgust and horror as he saw Sam curled up in a ball, shivering.

"Bastards," he whispered as he glanced at the dead bodies.

"He won't let me touch him," Joun murmured to him. "Maybe you?..."His voice trailed off and Dean slowly nodded.

"I'll try." He walked over to Sam. "Sammy, it's me...Dean..." His voice was soft. "It's over Sammy...those bastards are dead. They're not gonna hurt you anymore. They're dead. It's over." He reached over to touch Sam. Sam shivered at first but other wise was still. Slowly Dean reached out to scoop his brother up to carry him. When he did that Sam started to sob and to shake. Dean quickly started to speak in a soothing tone and whisper things into Sam's ears until Sam quited. John grabbed his own jacket and wrapped it over Sam's naked and rather scarred body.

Slowly and carefully they went to the Impala where Dean slid into the back seat and placed Sam's head on his lap. He stared at his father as John got into the driver's seat.

"Should we go to the hospital?"

John hesitated and slowly shook his head.

"Not now," he said quietly. "I think that'll make it worse. He can barely can stand you touching him, let alone a stranger."

Dean nodded and John started the car as they drove off to the motel and Dean closed his eyes, praying that his brother, the way Sam was before the kidnapping, would return to him again. That Sam wasn't gone forever.

**Sorry if the escape went by fast, I was wanting to move along with the story :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews!

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Dean slowly carried in Sam who had fallen asleep out of exhaustion. Using these precious minutes where Sam wouldn't fight them John had grabbed wet wash clothes and handed one to Dean as they cleaned Sam's body before dressing him. Dean couldn't stop shaking, the idea of his brother in the hands of those _barbarians _truly disgusted him. Sam moaned and Dean looked worriedly at his brother, but that was all the noises that Sam would make. He glanced at his father, surprised to see John shaking himself.

"Dad, you okay?"

"Yeah." John tried to slow his breathing. "I swear Dean, if I hadn't already killed those sonofbitches-"

"I know," Dean answered quickly. "I wouldn't mind going over there and killing them myself right now."

John nodded and closed his eyes, trying to rid of the image of Sam being raped in front of him.

"He looks so young," he murmured, almost to himself, as he stared at his fragile sleeping son in front of him. Dean stared at Sam too, and swallowed.

"I'm going for a walk," John mumbled. "I'm sorry Dean...I just can't see him like this...not right now....not after...."

"I understand," Dean said quickly. "Get some air, dad. I'll be here. I won't let Sam out of my sight."

John slowly nodded and quickly escaped into the night air, his mind replaying the moment they dragged Sam in front of him over and over. He knew that image would never leave his brain. He'd be haunted with it for the rest of his life.

Dean watched as his father left and bit his lip as he stared at his brother.

"I'm sorry Sammy," he whispered, tears were in his eyes. But when he sat down and reached out to touch his brother Sam started to shout. He jerked back, more than a little startled.

"Sam what-"

Sam was really shouting now, and sobbing too-his eyes wide open now with terror.

"Sam!" Dean grabbed his brother, but that made it worse. Sam struck at him, and struck violently. He clawed at Dean's arms, fighting with every last breath. "Sam, it's me! It's Dean!" He heard a whimper form in his brother's throat.

"Sammy...it's me," whispered Dean, lowering the volume of his tone. "It's me...your brother, I'm not hurting you! I would _never _hurt you. Don't you recoginze me, Dean?"

But at that moment Sam recoginzed no one. He only saw the faces of those that had him locked in that cage for so long...like he was some kind of animal.

"Sam!" Dean tried shouting now, his tone terrified. He had never seen his brother this unglued before. "It's ME Sam! It's Dean...your brother..." But Sam still wouldn't hear him, his screaming grew louder. John rushed inside, his eyes wide with panic. He felt his heart being torn when he heard Sam scream like this. And after what had happened...he shuddered at the thoughts racing through his mind.

"Dean? What the hell is going on?!"

Dean was fighting back tears as he tried to keep Sam from going beserk.

"I think Sam was having a nightmare...he doesn't recoginze me at all!" He was trying to pin his brother down, but it was impossible to do so. John remembered the first aid kid that the boys kept in the backseat of the car. He rushed out to grab it, Dean didn't bother to ask where. He was too busy dealing with keeping his brother from hurting himself.

John came briskly in with a needle filled with morphine, morphine that the brothers had managed to snag at one of the hospitals they had stopped out. They had prefered to take care of themselves, even with severe injuries for the hospitals had become just too risky. Dean held Sam down as John gently pushed the needle into his brother's skin, Sam shouted in pain and surprisment as he finally collapsed into oblivian.

Dean sighed, managing to catch his brother.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "For not being able to stop it...for not finding him sooner..f...for everything..." He was shaking and shock entered John's system. Normally Dean was so together. He rarely showed emotions like this.

"It's okay Dean," John whispered slowly and reached his arms out to grab his oldest son into a tight hug. "I don't blame you for any of it," he added and at those words Dean finally let out the emotions that he had had since Sam's dissapearence and especially since he first saw his brother again. He let out gutwrenching sobs and unsure of what else to do John held him until all the tears were finally free.

**Shorter than the rest and not my best chapter, I know, but I didn't want to abandon this story lol. **


	7. Chapter 7

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Thanks for the reviews! Sorry I haven't been updating as quickly as before, last few were finals weeks lol.

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After Sam sank into a hopefully dreamless oblivian John glanced breathlessly at his son.

"Are you okay, Dean?" He asked softly. Dean slowly nodded, unaware that his body was shaking.

"Yeah," Dean said softly. "I...I'll be fine." He stared at Sam. "Do you think..."

"What?" John frowned in response.

"Do you think he'll ever be...fine again?" Dean's voice was a whisper. John's throat closed and he shook his head.

"I don't know," he said honestly. Dean nodded as he watched Sam sleeping on the bed. He took that time to grab the wet cloth and finish cleaning Sam's wounds. He carefully and tenderly wiped each bruise and each welt. He flinched as he thought of the pain Sam must have endured during those few short days.

"They kept him locked up," he told John. "In cages...that probably made it worse."

John frowned.

"Why?"

Dean looked at him in surprise.

"Because of his claustrophobia."

John's eyes widened.

"Damn it," he growled. "How could I have forgotten about something like that? Those sonsofbitches..."He was shaking in silent rage now, and muttered to himself.

"Dad, it's okay-"

"No it's not okay!" John almost roared. "It's not okay, Dean...none of this is. A father shouldn't forget what his child fears...a father is supposed to remember these things. NONE of this is okay!" He was now shouting, and that shout and woken drug induced Sam up.

Startled by the loud voice Sam let out a frightened sound and began to yell. John flushed when he realized what had happend.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself. Dean rushed over to Sam.

"Sammy, it's okay," he said, his voice pleading for his brother to hear him. "It's okay Sammy, it's okay." But Sam was still sobbing in fear, mixed with agitation.

"Sam," John's gruff voice was lowered into a more gentle tone. "Sammy, it's me-dad." He leaned towards the bed. "Sam, it's dad..daddy."

Dean looked at him in surprise. When was the last time he or Sam called him daddy?

"I'm not angry at you, Sammy." John's voice was so soft Dean could barely hear him. "I'm not angry at you."

But his soft voice didn't do any good. Sam continued to sob and jerk away from him. Dean could see the hurt written on John's face.

"Sammy," Dean finally had to cut in. "Sam, it's me, Dean." He touched Sam's arm and Sam slowly quieted. He was still sobbing though. But not nearly as hard as he was before. "Sammy." He wrapped his arms around his brother. Sam stiffened, but he didn't try to fight the grip that held him. John watched, almost bitterly, as Dean started to rock Sam back and forth in a soothing matter. Finally Sam burried his head into Dean's shoulders and wept.

John's breathing got a little harder. He looked angry, at himself.

_"Can't even touch my own son," _he thought as he watched Dean sooth Sam. _"That should be my job"_

Anger crawled inside of him for what those bastards did to his son. He trembled as he remembered how weak and vulnerable Sammy looked when he was tossed out in front of him...how those animals started to rape him...John felt himself get dizzy.

"I have to get out again," he told Dean. "I just...need some more air..."

Dean nodded slowly.

"I'm going to call Bobby," John decided and Dean looked surprised.

"But you haven't spoken to him in years-"

"I know, but this is important. Bobby would come. He loves you boys like you two were his own. We need help Dean, we can't handle Sam by ourselves. And we can't take him a hospital filled with strangers."

"But it's been so long, maybe Sam won't recoginze Bobby."

"I have to try, Dean," sighed John. "I can't sit back and do nothing...and I'm pretty sure that Bobby has some doctors that are friends. Maybe they'd be willing to check Sam out. One stranger might not be so bad, if you were with him."

Dean just nodded.

"He seems to respond to you the most," John added softly. Dean felt embarrassed and guilty about that.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be," said John slowly. "It's good for him. I'm glad he can respond to one of us."

"It's not you, dad," Dean said quickly. "You didn't do anything wrong, it's not your fault he's scared of you."

John said nothing but slowly nodded before he went out and closed the door. Sam jumped and started to sob as the door closed shut and Dean instantly started to sooth him and rocked Sam back and forth until all the tears were gone...

**I know it's short but at least it's an update! **


	8. Chapter 8

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I decided I needed to update some of my older fics, lol. I had a bit of a writeres block with this story, but I really do love it and I don't want to give up on it.

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John sighed as he closed his cell phone. Needless to say that Bobby was more than a little surprised to hear from John. Than the surprise quickly tranformed to shock and horror when he found out what had happened to Sam.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," he quickly promised.

"Thanks Bobby," John said softly. "I mean it." He looked at the window as he watched Dean cleaning Sam's wounds again as his youngest slept. Tears filled his eyes. The idea of his own son being afraid of him....He shook his head, forcing those feeling to be burried again where they belonged. He couldn't show weakness now. He had to be strong. His children needed him to be strong, like he always was. Slowly he walked back inside.

"How is he?"

"The same," sighed Dean. "Say, could you um get some food at the store? I'd like him to eat something." John nodded.

"Good idea, I should have thought of that," he sighed. "There's so many things that I should have..."He swallowed, determined not to finish that setence. Dean stared at him.

"Dad, are you all right?"

John snorted.

"I'm not the one you should be asking that too, Dean."

"Yeah, but you did see your son get raped," Dean told him. "It's okay if you're feeling upset or whatever. It's only human. I'm feeling it too."

John nodded.

"I know that son, thank you." He cleared his throat. "I should head to the store, get some food like you suggested."

Dean nodded as he ran his hands through his brother's hair. As John left Sam moaned in his sleep.

"What did those bastards do to you?" Dean whispered, his voice shaking. "I swear I wish they weren't dead so I could..."He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He had to remain calm, for Sam.

He sat there and waited for their father to return, grasping his hand tightly around Sam's. He couldn't stop staring at the bruises and scars on his face. He couldn't stop replaying the memory of finding Sammy locked in a cage, curled in a fetas position; stripped naked.

He jumped when the door opened.

"It's only me," John told him softly, carrying in a bag of food. "There was a food-mart across the street. Bobby called me back, said it's going to take him longer than he thought it would to get here."

Dean nodded.

"Any problems while I was gone?" John asked as he sat down the groceries.

"Dad, you were gone for less than a half an hour."

"I know, but still..."

Dean smiled.

"No, no problems." He reached for the bags.

"Got soft foods," John told him. "Wasn't sure with how he'll be about eating. Thought we'd take it slow."

"Good idea," Dean agreed and opened up some pudding and a can of soft fruit. "Sam? Sammy?" He gently shook his brother who woke up with a start, panic in his eyes.

"It's okay Sammyo," he said quickly. "It's just me, you remember me right?" Sam stared at him dully. Dean tried to search for any signs of recogination but couldn't find any. "Look kiddo, I want you to eat something. You don't have to do anything. Just open your mouth and chew and swallow when I say so; okay?" He dished out the fruit. "Can you open your mouth buddy?" Both Dean and John were begining to wonder if Sam could actually hear him at all. But suddenly Sam's mouth opened. "Good boy," Dean praised him as he filled the mouth with the fruit. "Now can you chew for me? Nice and slowly?" Obediently, but silently and dumbly, Sam obeyed and Dean praised him again, while telling him to swallow.

This routine went on until Sam finished both the fruit and the pudding and drank some water. Sam sighed after the meal was over and Dean smiled at him.

"You did good, kiddo." He helped his brother lay back down and hummed softly as he watched Sam drift back to sleep.

"You look like you could use some air," John told him and he hesitated.

"I shouldn't leave him-"

"We'll both be right outside," John said. "Come on, Dean. You need a break. You look like hell."

Dean laughed.

"Thanks." Both quietly steped out and shut the door behind them. Even as they were outside, though, Dean turned and watched his brother through the window.

"Dean," John said quietly and he quietly looked at his father.

"Yeah?"

"You need a break. If not for you, for me. I hate you having to worry about him like this all the time. It's gonna eat you up."

"And you're not?" Dean asked sharply and he frowned.

"Not what?"

"Worrying about him all the time?"

John sighed.

"I worry about you both, and yes right now I am very worried about Sam. But still, that doesn't mean you have to kill yourself by looking after him. You're not go to him dead, Dean. And if you're not careful you will die from exhaustion and worry."

Dean sighed.

"I know, I know. It's just that, the idea of something happening like this. Of me failing-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this about you failing? Failing what?"

"To take care of Sammy." Dean swallowed. "Like you always tell me too. I let him get captured, I-"

"Dean, this isn't your fualt," John said sternly. "I don't want to hear you blame yourself ever again, do you understand me?"

Dean stared at him.

"You shouldn't blame yourself either," he said knowingly. John laughed at that.

"You caught me," he admitted as they slowly started to walk down the sidewalk a bit. "I can't help it though, it's in my job description."

"Well it's in mine too," Dean said firmly and John knew better than to argue with that. Dean froze suddenly, in a middle of a convesration.

"What?" John frowned.

"Do you hear something?"

"Hear what?" John stared at his son worriedly.

"Listen," Dean urged and John strained his ears. His eyes widened as he heard the sound of Sam sobbing and wimpering that was going on in their room. Quickly they pushed the door opened.

Sam had waken to find himself utterly alone. He was in a rocking postion while moaning and banging his head against the wall, clearly terrified.

John started to go towards him but Dean shook his head.

"It might make it worse, dad," he said, his voice apologetic. John stepped back, knowing that was true.

"Sammy? Sammy I'm here, it's okay kiddo. No one left you. I didn't leave you Sammy, I would never left you." In a soothing tone Dean hurried over to his brother and began to rock him back and forth in his arms, forcing Sam's head to stop banging on the wall.

The sobbing quieted and Sam shuddered in Dean's arms, the feeling of safetiness and warmth consuming him. And for the next few minutes Dean rocked his brother back and forth, gently murmuring to him while John watched; wondering if things would ever go back to the way they were.

**Hopefully that makes up for not updating so much.**


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